FEAR OF MISSING OUT? DEAL WITH IT!

by Hira A. Siddiqi

This article is originally published in Insurance Journal 4th Quarter 2022

“Oh, that’s an awesome dress for a wedding; he got a job in a US-based company earning in dollars, and
yes, who is the one expecting a baby? My best friend! Oh, these cousins also went on a tour in northern
areas for camping. Yes, I just came to know by scrolling my timeline on Instagram, Facebook, and
LinkedIn.”

If you feel that all good things are happening in others’ lives and you are the one who is missing all the
opportunities and having problems in life, then you are wrongly feeling that. There is no such thing.
The fear of missing out (FOMO) is the feeling or idea that you are missing out on something essential or
enjoyable that others are experiencing. It is the perception that others are having more fun, living better
lives, or experiencing better things than you.

According to the World Journal of Clinical Cases, “fear of missing out” gained traction in 2004.
This was the year Facebook launched, one of the first prominent online spaces where people could
publicly display their friendships and what they were doing through status updates and photos.
FOMO preys on low self-esteem, loneliness, and fear of social exclusion, leading to
anxiety and depression. Some theories that endorse this concept are as follows:

Self-determination theory: This approach studies human motivation and personality. It suggests that
each person is motivated by three innate psychological needs: competence, autonomy, and relatedness.
When these are met, our self-motivation and mental health thrive. When they are not, our motivation
and sense of well-being slack.

An art piece by Mehwish Javaid (Instagram @mjtartgallery)

Cybernetic process model: Our brains are constantly sizing and comparing our options to our
goals or expectations. When these do not line up, we may feel uncomfortable. FOMO can
distort this process and make it harder to accurately evaluate one’s current situation. Rather than
prioritize critical personal goals, we may pursue lesser and unhealthier priorities.

The Paradox of Choice: Why More Is Less: This theory is explored by psychologist Barry Schwartz,
“Learning to choose is hard,” he writes. “Learning to choose well is harder. And learning to choose well
in a world of unlimited possibilities is harder still—perhaps too hard.”

Symptoms of FOMO are: 
– Obsessively checking social media to see what others are doing, 
– Experiencing negative feelings when comparing one’s life to what others seem to be doing on social media, 
– Feeling mentally exhausted from social media, 
– Overscheduling (trying to be everywhere at all times), 
– Withdrawing from others, 
– Feeling physically tired, Feeling sad, anxious, or depressed, 
– Difficulty concentrating, 
– Having trouble sleeping.